I WENT TO [b]THE WIERDEST[/b] OPTOMETRIST TODAY.
(just pretend like I can spell optometrist and keep reading, okay?)

Seriously. This guy was NUTS.
He asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said semi-coherently, "Uhh art or something with law" because he was already freaking me out. He sure latched onto that one. Apparently physics and math are the most important classes a lawyer can take because they foster intellegence.

I also learned the story of Abrahamm and Sarah and something about the breath of God... I was kind of zoning out. xD

As he walked out of the room for a minute, he said, "It'll also be interesting to see if your contacts get that curve out of your back!"
...
I guess my glasses have been weighing me down all this time. Who knew that, and not a 9000+ pound backpack, was the cause of my bad posture?!

He also told me a story about cutting monkies' eyeballs out to develop revolutionary new bifocal contacts that I would just love. I had to interuppt him like four times.
"You won't even notice them!" Yeah, except for the part at the bottom where it's all blurry when I'm trying to talk to my friends.
"I don't really want bifocals."
"Oh, I guess I made an impression by calling them bifocals, really they're great-"
"Yes, but I just want the normal kind."
"But they're-"
"My friends are all really happy with theirs."
"But-"

He was completely bonkers. As we were paying he leaned over and whispered, "I told them to take extra good care of you because the little things really bother you."
...what?
And that reminds me, I didn't think anyone had to get that close to look in your eyes with a bright light. Personal bubble VIOLATED. D< Also, I felt stupid because every time he did that shining-light-in-eye thing he had to point really obviously at the same huge dot on the ceiling and say, "Now just look right at the dot."
*shine shine*
*point point* "Look at the dot. Just look right at it."
*shine shine*
*point point* "That dot right there. That one. Look right at it."
Like maybe there are other huge dots on the ceiling or something, or that I'd forget where to look. And in the end, even though I've gone through contact orientation three times, he still wouldn't let me skip it. When we just asked him for the prescription, he said, "There isn't one."

...Ohh-kaaaay...and what was it again we just spent the last two hours doing...?

Aw, the mood thing is broken. Cuz I'm not exactly Happy. D :